My Daughter, A Big Sister!
Hi my sugar!
I just got home from running your poppy slippers and bath-tub-baby over to Mimi's house (you have a real gift for names, lately). In less than nine hours, we'll be heading to the hospital to have your little brother! It's so surreal finally getting to type that, especially because my last post to you was about how badly I wanted to make you a big sister. God truly does work in mysterious ways.
There's been so many differences between my pregnancy with you and my pregnancy with your brother, you being the biggest part. I was packing my bag for the hospital a couple weeks ago, just like I did with you. Only this time, my bag didn't just get filled with the essentials... my bag this time included toys you thought Max might want, clothes you picked for him, and even a "shaker" made with bracelets you had so I can jingle them to let the doctors know I needed something. My sweet, thoughtful, creative girl. I've been so emotional, SO emotional, this time around.
When I was pregnant with you, I worried about if you would keep the bows your Aunt Jette and I bought you on her head or how I would handle you pooping in the bathtub (it's inevitable, it really is). I worried about what my body would be like after you arrived and whether or not your dad would still be attracted to me. But I never worried about my mothering skills. I grew up around babies! I remember each of your uncles (except for Uncle Keb, obviously) coming home and changing diapers and bossing babies/kids around was much of my childhood.
This time around, the only thing I'm worried about is my mothering ability. My ability to take care of and love TWO kids. I'm terrified of failing when it comes to making sure you still feel just as loved tomorrow and every day that follows as you've been every day since we've had you. I'm worried because this time around, I know how demanding and dependent newborns are and I've never had to balance that with spending time with my three year old.
I had no idea what I was in for when it came time for you to arrive, Bella girl. It felt like the clock moved backwards when it came down to the last month. I tried everything under the sun to start my labor with you. This time, between being a first-year teacher and already a mommy, it has flown by. Except this last weekend... I found myself doing everything I could to get this labor going, just like with you. I thought I was ready to meet your brother and ready to see you as a big sister. But I should know by now that God's timing is SO much better than my own. I have had the BEST two days with you, baby girl. We've semi-slept in, taken our time getting ready in the morning complete with dance parties and strawberries in our oatmeal. I've watched you do school at daycare and helped you and your friends do gymnastics. And both days we've snuggled down for naps and played our favorite "would you rather" game. These two days with you were exactly what I needed before your brother comes.
You are in such a fun stage right now. I love your mannerisms when you talk about things that excite you, watching you conquer your fears at gymnastics, how thoughtful you can be for others around you, how fast you pick up song lyrics and how animated you are when you sing them... I even love when my shower curtain gets pulled back and you stick your little naked butt in there because Dad taught you to moon us. You bring so, so much joy into our lives, Isabella, and that's only going to increase getting to watch you as a big sister.
I know I'll fail sometimes. I know that I'll lose my patience a little too quickly from time to time and if my memory serves my correctly from your newborn days, exhaustion will do me no favors. But baby, I hope you always know that even when I fail, my love for you won't. I promise to make a conscious effort to be extra patient with you as we navigate this new normal together. But I also promise to not baby you and let you get away with everything under the sun; I'm still responsible for raising you right. I promise to make time for just you and I, because as much as you love that time together - I love it even more. I also promise to show you the importance of Daddy and I making time for just us two, as well. I want you to know what a strong, healthy marriage looks like. Lastly, I promise that I will always love being your momma and that you are still my number one girl.
Giving you all my sugars,
Momma
I just got home from running your poppy slippers and bath-tub-baby over to Mimi's house (you have a real gift for names, lately). In less than nine hours, we'll be heading to the hospital to have your little brother! It's so surreal finally getting to type that, especially because my last post to you was about how badly I wanted to make you a big sister. God truly does work in mysterious ways.
There's been so many differences between my pregnancy with you and my pregnancy with your brother, you being the biggest part. I was packing my bag for the hospital a couple weeks ago, just like I did with you. Only this time, my bag didn't just get filled with the essentials... my bag this time included toys you thought Max might want, clothes you picked for him, and even a "shaker" made with bracelets you had so I can jingle them to let the doctors know I needed something. My sweet, thoughtful, creative girl. I've been so emotional, SO emotional, this time around.
When I was pregnant with you, I worried about if you would keep the bows your Aunt Jette and I bought you on her head or how I would handle you pooping in the bathtub (it's inevitable, it really is). I worried about what my body would be like after you arrived and whether or not your dad would still be attracted to me. But I never worried about my mothering skills. I grew up around babies! I remember each of your uncles (except for Uncle Keb, obviously) coming home and changing diapers and bossing babies/kids around was much of my childhood.
This time around, the only thing I'm worried about is my mothering ability. My ability to take care of and love TWO kids. I'm terrified of failing when it comes to making sure you still feel just as loved tomorrow and every day that follows as you've been every day since we've had you. I'm worried because this time around, I know how demanding and dependent newborns are and I've never had to balance that with spending time with my three year old.
I had no idea what I was in for when it came time for you to arrive, Bella girl. It felt like the clock moved backwards when it came down to the last month. I tried everything under the sun to start my labor with you. This time, between being a first-year teacher and already a mommy, it has flown by. Except this last weekend... I found myself doing everything I could to get this labor going, just like with you. I thought I was ready to meet your brother and ready to see you as a big sister. But I should know by now that God's timing is SO much better than my own. I have had the BEST two days with you, baby girl. We've semi-slept in, taken our time getting ready in the morning complete with dance parties and strawberries in our oatmeal. I've watched you do school at daycare and helped you and your friends do gymnastics. And both days we've snuggled down for naps and played our favorite "would you rather" game. These two days with you were exactly what I needed before your brother comes.
You are in such a fun stage right now. I love your mannerisms when you talk about things that excite you, watching you conquer your fears at gymnastics, how thoughtful you can be for others around you, how fast you pick up song lyrics and how animated you are when you sing them... I even love when my shower curtain gets pulled back and you stick your little naked butt in there because Dad taught you to moon us. You bring so, so much joy into our lives, Isabella, and that's only going to increase getting to watch you as a big sister.
I know I'll fail sometimes. I know that I'll lose my patience a little too quickly from time to time and if my memory serves my correctly from your newborn days, exhaustion will do me no favors. But baby, I hope you always know that even when I fail, my love for you won't. I promise to make a conscious effort to be extra patient with you as we navigate this new normal together. But I also promise to not baby you and let you get away with everything under the sun; I'm still responsible for raising you right. I promise to make time for just you and I, because as much as you love that time together - I love it even more. I also promise to show you the importance of Daddy and I making time for just us two, as well. I want you to know what a strong, healthy marriage looks like. Lastly, I promise that I will always love being your momma and that you are still my number one girl.
Giving you all my sugars,
Momma
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